I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
the day after is always just damage control
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
