hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
