Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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