You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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