peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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