Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize