they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
