So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
