what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
