Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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