That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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