people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
