This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
