mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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