i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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