I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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