I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
