Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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