I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
