Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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