you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Randomize
