i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
