I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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