Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
