He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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