i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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