can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
