I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
