why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
