There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
