When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
