I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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