i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
