you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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