trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize