is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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