it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
