sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
ugly people sure do ruin things
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
