She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
