For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
