Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
