cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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