I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
