Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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