I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I want to fling myself into the sun
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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