I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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