That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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