i would punch a child for taco bell
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
