Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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