glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you traded sex for a burrito?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
