that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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