Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
