hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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