he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize