You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
