You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
