1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
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