he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Randomize