mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
