Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize