HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize